The Atheist Who Almost Died and Met God

The Atheist Who Almost Died and Met God

Five Words That Changed My Life

I once used to be the last person who would ever write something like this.

I didn't believe in God. I didn't believe in Heaven. I didn't believe in anything I couldn't see, touch, or make sense of during a conversation.

 If you had told me that one day I'd be sitting in Sedona, Arizona, running a store, doing intuitive readings, and teaching people about Love as being the most powerful energy of all — I would have laughed at you. And then I would have changed the subject.

I'm sharing this with you in order to help you have a better understanding of who I am and how I learned about Love. I think it's important to point out that I wasn't looking for what found me. It matters that I had no framework for it. I know my childhood began with Catholicism, but I ditched that religion after I was raped at age twenty. Prayers didn’t mean anything to me. God? Heaven? Not a chance. Why would so many tragic experiences happen to someone such as myself who just wanted to be Loved? Someone who never wanted to hurt anyone?   I had to become an atheist.

And then, in 2007, I almost died from a very rare autoimmune disease called TTP-HUS. Thrombotic Thrombocytopenia Purpura Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome.

I'm not going to walk you through every detail of the autoimmune disease or what happened on the other side during my near-death experience, NDE. I've written about it, talked about it in podcasts, and am writing another book that will include wisdoms I’ve not shared publicly before.  If you want the full story of what happened to me, it's out there for you. What I want to share with you here is what I was told — and how it helped shift everything I thought I knew about life. As it turns out, I had a lot to learn.

During my near-death experience, I was given an order directly from God. He said, “Megan, I want you to tell everyone ‘Acceptance is synonymous with Love.’”

Five words. And when I received them, I thought, “Okay. I can do that.” Inside of me I thought I understood what He was saying to me. But I didn’t because I didn’t know what Love truly felt like other than the deep Love of my child. I even thought after He said that to me that His message meant accepting others for being different than me. Like I didn’t have to like someone, but I had to accept them for who they were.

I knew I had judgement of others. It’s what I was taught to do. It was normalized in my life for many reasons. My childhood, the church, and the work I used to do. But now I know judgement doesn’t allow acceptance. In fact it perpetuates more division. Love? Where is there Love in division? There’s not. Yet this is what I had to tell others by God’s order, ‘Acceptance is synonymous with Love.’  We use the word Love with our children, partners, and our friends. We crave to feel it. When we break up with someone it feels like we lose it. Our lives are somehow built around trying to achieve Love or keep Love. 

What I learned because of my NDE in 2007 and the OBE’s from the end of 2012 to the beginning of 2014 is that everything I once thought about Love was incomplete. Not wrong, exactly — just so small compared to what Love actually is. What I knew was  almost unrecognizable as the same thing.

Love isn't just something you feel for another person. It isn't a reward from someone for being good enough. It isn't something that comes and goes depending on whether someone treats you well or whether life is going your way.

Love is the force you are made of.

That's not something I read and adopted because it sounded nice. That is what I was shown when I crossed over — and it changed the entire trajectory of my life.

When I came back, I didn’t feel comfortable talking about what I had learned because it didn’t seem to match what I learned in church as a kid. It didn’t align with what others believed either. I knew in my heart and soul what I had experienced was the most perfect truth that exists. The energy of such acceptance wasn’t lost on me even though I didn’t yet know how to convey it to others. And then I began to see something I couldn’t unsee. 

We are all walking around with a wound nobody seems to talk about. It’s not a hidden wound, but there is no language for it to heal yet. It’s not the wound a therapist helped you name. It’s not your childhood, but the wound definitely could have started there. It’s not the relationship that ended badly, or the parent who wasn’t there for you.

The wound is around not having been taught that who you are is already perfect.

We were taught how we should behave and be with others. We were taught what to believe. We were taught how to gain approval, how to measure success, and what constitutes being a good person. But somewhere along the way, the most essential thing was never said out loud: "You are Love. You don’t need to strive for it. It’s who you have always been."

Love is a language currently unspoken as I have learned it. I know there is Love in actions, words, acknowledging, listening, and nurturing. These are acts of Love. But there is an entire life and lives being built without the foundation of Love. We’ve spent years trying to fix things that were never meant to carry the weight of not knowing what Love truly is like relationships. We desire achievements. We search for validation. Some even search for substances and diagnoses to feel better. Even self improvement programs to help us figure out what is wrong. 

What I know because of my NDE is that nothing about any of us is unworthy. We have always been whole even during life’s circumstances and situations that bring us to our knees. The times when we think, “I can’t take it any more.” The only thing missing is the full understanding of who we are as living beings in our world. The truth that you are the power of Love. No one needs to tell you why you matter. You already do.

Previous to my NDE I would have rolled my eyes at this type of topic and walked out of the room or exited the conversation quickly. That’s the old me. The atheist and skeptic. A woman who couldn’t trust anything that I didn’t understand myself. I wouldn’t have given any time to a conversation like this. But that's exactly why I'm writing it.

If you yourself are a skeptic or atheist who thought for a moment, “Alright let me read what this lady is saying here. I’m just curious,” I understand you. I was you. I didn’t believe in any of this. I definitely didn’t go seeking this information for myself. It just happened. I was part of an experience that was the most real thing I’d ever had happen before. It was an immediate comfort so far beyond anything I could have imagined, that I came back and have rebuilt my entire life around it.

Acceptance is synonymous with Love. That's what God told me. Now I know what it means. I have to continue accepting the good, the bad, and the ugly of what has happened as being the opportunities they were of clearing karma, and stepping into my truth differently. Use my voice. Be myself. And the moment I understood this — truly understood it — is when I realized that every wound I'd ever carried came down to one thing: I had never been taught what Love actually is.

I’d be willing to bet no one taught you either.

I don't know what you'll do with this information I’m sharing with you here on this page. I didn't know what to do with it for a long time after I came back from my NDE. But I can tell you this — once you hear it, really hear it and know it to be true in your gut, you can't unhear it. It begins to change the way you look at everything. It changed the way I look at everyone and my entire life for the better. I feel like I have peace around all of the tragedies in my life and that wasn’t easy to get to.

By the way, I didn't write this to convince you of anything. I wrote it because someone should have said it to me when I was growing up, but they didn’t know how. They didn't learn this language. So if you can relate to that, I’m telling you what you need to know right now. You are already perfect. 

Love,

Megan

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